Saw Love Aaj Kal today. Was ok. Some moments in the movie reminded me of a poem I had read long time back. I think this poem is by an anonymous poet. I had memorized one of its paragraphs that I like the best :) It went like this

By absence this good means I gain
That I can catch her
Where none can watch her
In some close corner of my brain
There I embrace and kiss her
And so I both enjoy and miss her

:) sweet!

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"There is a pleasure in the pathless woods
There is a rapture on the lonely shore
There is a society where none intrudes
By the deep sea and music in its roar
I love not man the less but nature more"


I was seated in airbus A320, we were walking through the rain wet runway preparing for a flight. The aircraft was virtually empty. Indigo doesn't give the feel of a low cost airline - No eye sore uniforms or seat covers, no half read news papers forced into the seat back covers, no cheap perfume bottles walking down the aisle, no frowning twisted faces selling tasteless food. I had no reason to doubt that this late night flight would not be a very comfortable one, when suddenly I spotted a gentleman, sitting diagonally opposite in the row right in front of me, moving restlessly about his axis. Like a worried little birdie his head revolved in all possible directions. He was clearly not comfortable. I looked away to concentrate on more pleasing visuals. The craft was still walking, the runway was glistening in beautiful hues, there were capillaries of water droplets running through the window, I remember thinking about my school days. During heavy rains the schools would shut down on occasion of a "rainy day holiday". We were never allowed to play in the rains. I remember standing in the veranda and looking at bubbles and saucers that would form on the floor. How I wished to go and burst those bubbles and jump amidst the watery saucers. Sometimes I stretched my hand out to feel the rain and at more brave times ran into the rain but rushed back again lest someone should see and scold me. I loved the perfume the earth exuded at those times. We had a little garden that was home to a lot of flowering plants and insects. After the rains my favourite pass time was making mud houses in the garden and teasing earthworms. I would take a long twig and let the worm walk up on it from one end. The worm would keep walking till he met the end and then retrace his path - I found this game extremely amusing.

"Aapse aaj hum door sahi..." some old hindi song, the gentleman in the front row had managed to distract me once again, he was playing this music aloud on his cellphone or MP3 player, couldn't make out what it was. Felt a strong urge to request him to shut the music down, I was not very interested in an RJ concert, but refrained. Fighting at 10 in the night is not the right thing to do, especially when one has more beautiful memories to keep one busy. My request at that hour would have rather sounded like a rude order.

The craft was steady, we were ready to take off. It is such a feeling of elation when you head towards the sky. I looked through the window as the plane soared higher and higher. Mumbai looked beautiful. The well lit roads resembled gold embalmed lasso. We hit the monsoon clouds and soon were sailing inbetween clouds and a clear black sky studded with stars and a smiling moon - What a painter's paradise! I wish I had a camera. The painting was soon lost.

I decided to sleep, but the gentleman had moved from bearable old hindi songs to unbearable junk. I tried to ignore him and his music, like everybody else, and get some sleep. But looked like God had some other plans. I could feel my nose pain once again. Earlier that day I had gone out shopping with my bhabhi. She was pleased to see that I had now bowed to the family tradition and had my nose pierced. So went the conversation while walking on the roads of Lokhandwala

Bhabhi - This looks very nice on you
Me- Yep! I like it, though I was thinking of something funkier, a nose ring instead of a stud
Bhabhi-hmmm, that would look very nice
Bhabhi-chalo wahan chalte hain (pointing at a showroom)
Me-whats that! a jewelery shop! no I was joking, I dont want anything
Bhabhi-Chal naa
Me-When is there a single time that you listen to me?

Now inside the shop

Bhabhi to the shopkeeper - nose ring???
Shopkeeper-Upstairs maam

Upstairs in the shop, a tired looking middle aged women smiled at us - was it a smile? I dont remember

Bhabhi- nose rings dikhaiye

Lady opens a box full of diamond studded rings

Me-This is NOT done!!!!! I dont want all of this (it was dearth costly)
Bhabhi-Ruk!, hmm this one, it looks so beautiful
Me-It is diamond, it shines sooooo much, I dont like it, not on me atleast, kitna gaudy hai (it was beautiful though, must confess)
Bhabhi-wear it and show it to me

She forced me to take off my nose stud and try this funky nose ring

Me-it has a fat end, doesnt go in besides its diamond, I dont like diamonds, not so many of them
Lady-Diamond nahi pehnogi to aur kya pehnogi? main pehnati hun

I soooo needed her opinion!!! She took the ring and forced it in - whooshhh, stream of blood. Ouch! this was not planned

Bhabhi-leave it leave it.... (she was sooo worried)
Me-I told you! lets get this hell out and go
Lady-itna chota ched kyun hai nose kaa???

Valid question! after puncturing my nose!!!

The nose was still paining and paining badly. The music was not helping either. The painting was gone and there was nothing to keep me busy. Oh wait! the book, the Ruskin Bond... Hell! I left it at Bhaiyya's place. So the journey was turning out to be quite not like what I had expected it would be. What do I do now???

First - ask the idiot of the man to turn the music down - as politely as possibly

Me- "Excuse me - dont you think not many must be interested in the music?"
Man ( looks at me puzzled!, he was just entertaining people) - "amm band karta hun"
Me- "Turant kar dijiye please. So good of you" (with a nasty smile)
Man- (embarrassed)
Me- (Yesss!!!! deep down intentions met!)

I was already feeling better. The nose was paining a bit less or so I felt. I could sleep now - and I slept!

I was brought back to where I was by a loud howling noise. He was crying again. I looked away from the book and realized that I was not alone in the room. Sometimes there is just too much silence. Maa and sis equally busy with their books made perfect furniture - motionless and soundless. But he was crying and clearly of the three, I was the most distracted. "Ina" I called out my sister - no response. "INA WHY is HE crying?, can you please go take a look". I was too tired to move out of the bed, last night's three hours driving horror was still weighing me down. "I think he is getting a bath, he doesn't like water all over him", she moved back into reading. Hmmm the dog and his incessant cries were driving me mad, so I got up and went to investigate the matter. Karan Bhaiyya was bathing him. Dobby, the dog was distracted on seeing me and stopped whimpering for a few seconds, only to resume, this time looking hopefully at me to save him from the tenacities of Karan Bhaiyya. "Didi, bahut rota hai yeh" - bhaiyya tried to provide me with an explaination. I smiled "Hmm" and walked away.

Back in the room, both ladies were still glued to books, two fans moving sluggishly, as if in pain, a window overlooking a park right across the road, long curtains filtering the sunlight, making everything look gloomier - a stage set for a perfect sad movie. To everyone's discontent I broke the silence again, someone for a coffee? When I dont understand anything I drink coffee. I got two exhilarated responses "ammm", not knowing how to interpret these extremely meaningful answers, I went and made a coffee just for myself. Then I thought of writing something. Hence this piece. It was more out of horror of losing everything I possess. I was thinking that with time I seem to have lost everything that I once used to do - no dance, no painting, no poetry, no prose, no tennis, no volleyball, no music no nothing!!! Life is getting busier with more unimportant improtant things like job, like MBA, like networking - how i have come to hate this word!! But the best part is that unlike most of us, I have had the opportunity to spend some good time at home, with my folks, before brutalities of life hit me with full force :). And I thank God for that.

I am reminded of a few lines I had written some ages back, lemme see if I can make a worthy attempt at recalling them

Solemn in my heart
Somber in my eyes
These last moments of togetherness
Fearing the fall of night

And often in our silences
Under the shadows of our eyes
We exchange some glances
To reaffirm our ties

The time is flying by
And no one understands
The language it speaks
Or the game it plans

yet a comfort in the fear
A comfort in not knowing
There are some to share your silences
To let you fall and fight

To still hold you up
With nothing but a smile
With a warm touch or a glance
Making you feel worthwhile

...... I forget the concluding paragraphs, I had written this one when I was moving away from family to pursue higher professional goals and the same holds true, once again today.